awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
