so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
