He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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