Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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