she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize