No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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