watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
then he tried to convert me to islam
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
