She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
