Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
