you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize