You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
