What a fucking waste of an outfit
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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