You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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