Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
