i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The best revenge is premature balding
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
