Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm having to shit out rocks
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