I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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