Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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