dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize