You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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