What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
