North Korea, Best Korea!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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