Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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