Pappa wants mamma naked
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
try to milk me bitch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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