Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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