That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
