Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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