it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
