like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
