last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
sick fucks of a feather flock together
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I die, sorry about rent.
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