Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
