i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
