We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
