you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
