I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
