i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
