Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize