eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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