Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
