just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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