i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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