I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
