a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
