Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
