sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
smell my finger.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
