i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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