there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
