i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
