Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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