Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
