Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
