What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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