Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
