I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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