girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
