I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
...so i touched it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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