I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
