I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
