i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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