There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
