I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
