Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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