Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
