direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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