Heybabeimwearingurpanties
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
