I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
